![]() ![]() If anyone would like to donate please if really mean alot to me and will be appreciated as it keeps me safe amd alive… yall truly don’t know how grateful i am to have a following of people that cares about me it really fills that emptyness i had since i was kicked out. Been trying my best to strong but it really weighing on me… and again dealing woth people telling me im doing wrong. As almost all of you know ive beenn homeless for 6 months and been staying in a hotel for some time now (My room fee is $67 a night). Please donate if you can, I’m very burnout and tired from the stress and im trying my best to relax and take a breather but i hate having the constant worry of me not having a place to lay my head. My eyesight is getting a bit worse, so is my memory of some things. Im sorry if its shitty or hard to read, it feels like im sorta becoming more self aware. I wish i never felt the way i do, i wish i wasnt so sensitive. Someone told me what ive been through makes me strong, i think they are wrong though. I love so many of the people around me so much, it feels overwhelming on the fact i have to think of who to give my love to. I’ve never felt romantic love towards anyone, I always mistook it for liking someone alot and lose interest. I could talk to my friends for hours, even if they dont listen ill be so happy. All day i never speak, when i finally get the chance to its like the words burst out of ny throat. I’m sometimes too scared to ask for help, if feels wrong and i know it shouldnt be wrong. ![]() Everyday feels like im screwing it up, like my mental health is effecting those around me too. I feel like ppl dont really talk about stuff like this and i just want to say its ok to feel this way and dont be afraid to advocate your feelings and ask for help! #equestrian #confidenceknock #ivebeenexactlywhereyouare #equestriantrend #equestrianfyp #unshadowbanme i wish i had asked for help sooner because cash went away for 30 days and i got a break i needed and when he came back, less then a month later we competed our first show and since then i havent felt scared on him since. Finally I had a lesson that after falling off, and having a horrible ride i broke down. ![]() I didnt tell anyone what i was feeling not my parents nor my trainers not even my barn friends. I wanted to quit, i hated cash, i hated riding him i was scared to canter and especially jump even just get on. I think it was worse because before I had been a beginner and I wasnt now and that felt worse for some reason. In october/november last year i had the worst confidence knock ive ever had. ![]()
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